Zen is chemical. TO THE MOST INVINCIBLE, MOST PUISSANT and most Christian Henry King of France the Second, Michel Nostradamus his most humble and obedient servant and subject [bids] victory and felicity. BY VIRTUE OF that sovereign precept which I have observed, O most Christian and victorious King, ever since my long-since obscure face did present itself before the deity of your immeasurable Majesty - since when I have been perpetually dazzled, never ceasing to honor and worthily to venerate that day when first I presented myself before it, as before a Majesty at once so unique and so human: Now, seeking for some occasion whereby I might manifest the goodness and sincerity of my heart, so that in this way I might amply extend my gratitude towards your most serene Majesty: This notwithstanding, seeing that your Royal splendour is accompanied by an incomparable humanity, I have addressed myself not as to the kings of Persia, whom it was in no wise permitted to visit, still less to approach: The snotty-nosed will retort that the scansion is as easy as understanding the meaning is difficult. And since, O most humane King, most of the prophetic quatrains are so difficult that people would not know how to approach them, still less interpret many of them, nevertheless - in the hope of setting out in writing the years, towns, cities and regions where most of them will occur, notably those of the years 1585 and 1606, starting from the present day, which is the 14th March 1557, and extending far beyond to the advent (which will be thoroughly calculated thereafter) of the beginning of the seventh millennium (in so far as my astronomical calculation and other knowledge has been able to extend thereto) when the adversaries of Jesus Christ and his Church shall begin to mutiply more vigorously - the whole has been composed and calculated in days and hours, carefully chosen and set out, and as accurately as I have been able. And the whole of it 'Minerva libera, et non invita', by calculating almost as many of the events of future times as of ages past, including the present - and of whatever can be ascertained about future events in all regions as time rolls by - precisely as this has been recorded, and without adding anything superfluous, even though it is said 'Quod de futuris non est determinata omnino veritas'. It is true, Sire, that not thinking to prophesy (merely) by the natural instinct which has been bequeathed to me by my ancestors, and (so) adjusting and harmonising this natural instinct in conjunction with my lengthy calculations, and emptying my soul, spirit and heart of all care, worry and upset through mental calm and tranquillity. All of it harmonised and foretold partly 'trepode aeneo'. Notwithstanding those in whom the malignity of the evil spirit shall NOT be apprehended, over the course of time after my earthly extinction my writings shall be more so than during my lifetime. Nevertheless, if I should fall short in my calculation of the ages or if it should not be according to the will of some, may it please your more than imperial Majesty to pardon me, for I protest before God and his Saints that I do not claim to put anything whatever in writing in the present epistle that is against the true Catholic faith, but have collated the Astronomical calculations to the best of my knowledge: for the space of time since our first ancestors is such (deferring as I do to correction by the soundest judgement) that the first man, Adam, lived about 1242 years before Noah, not calculating the time by the Gentile method, as Varro wrote: but solely according to the sacred Scriptures, and according as my poor mind has been able to cope with my Astronomical calculations.

Astounding Predictions Today was a day with work in it. Around 9:30, Keith the Accountant asked me if I was busy.  Uh-oh.  Keith had a stack of seven S-1 prospecti for Aether Communications, Inc.  Seems Aether is jumping on the IPO bandwagon, and KPMG is doing the due-diligence audits for the underwriters.  Here is Keith's problem. He's very busy. He has been burned by sending out bunged-up S-1 prospecti in the past, having very rich and powerful underwriters complain that sheets and such were missing from documents that have vast legal and financial ramifications. The Reprographics Department ("Basically, guys with a photocopier" was how my Executive Boss described them) is considered to be one of those lost causes at the company.  The guys you can't depend on, but must depend on, for menial tasks that they shouldn't oughta bung up. Keith's problem is now my problem.  I have to page through each of seven binders (those hundred-teeth plastic spine binders) and assure Keith that all 400 pages of each prospectus are correctly serialized, with nothing omitted, by comparing them to the original. Most of the prospectus is paginated, meaning that, after I assure myself that the Original is sequentially paginated with no aberration or integunal apocrypha (added sheets like page 43-A), I can leaf through the bulk of the copied document and just count page numbers.  So be it. This is where I discover that insuring pagination in a numbingly large document is, in fact, a difficult problem.  Specifically, I had to develop a technique of concentration.  My initial response was to flip a page, and count along with the page number, but this does not actually insure anything.  It just proves I can count.  I can never be sure that I am Counting AND reading the number off the page.  My suspicion is that I float from one activity (counting) to the other (reading), very rarely combining them.  If I got to a mis-ordered page, would I ignore it, and continue counting in my head?  Would I simply read the number in my head and miss the fact that it was a nonsequitor?  Horrors.  I had a dilemma. All the diminuiti of my Pagination Project were further frustrated by the fact that the Internet was glowing away on the monitor at my elbow.  I don't consider myself easily distracted, though I haven't really thought about it before.  Am I easily distracted from work?  I had developed a habit over the last few days of staring for hours at the surf-contents of my browser.  A strong habit.  And this job was the tempiest of meaningless temp jobs, and the pagination task was nothing if not dull.  So several times I read pages of Slashdot.org, only to glance back and notice my page-counting stopped mid-stride and forgotten. Eventually, I developed two techniques.  The first was what I would call a Zen attitude.  Though I know nothing of the philosophy, I get a feeling that Zen is about paying attention to the moment.  I convinced myself that the mechanism of counting, and the intricate dance of fingers-upon-flipping-page was, in fact, an entire universe.  Every detail mattered.  The expectation of the next sequential number was a wide place in time.  The space between the page number, and the corner of the page where my finger alighted, this distance was a fascinating constant. The second technique, based upon the first, was to gaze upon a number, and count past it by one BEFORE I flipped the page.  Thus, I envisioned a number that I expected, and was consequently well-satisfied when that very number appeared on the next page.  I made, this morning, thousands of accurate predictions. The end result.  I informed Keith that all copies were true to the orignial.  However, one page was out of order in the original, and thus was each copy.  Page F-2 occurred immediately BEFORE page F-1.  Keith said, with actual conviction, "Oh! That's terrible."  I thought it trivial, considering the wealth of predictions and miraculous confirmation through which I had waded.  The state of the original was, to me, beneath notice.  Only the correspondence of the copies mattered. Keith took all the copies back to Reprographics, mumbling about "Those Clowns in Repro" all the way.  Perhaps the Repro Department has their unpopular place in the heirarchy because they are the people who routinely take other's mistakes, and multiply them for the world to see.        *       *       *        *       *       *