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Vampire Nütcracker Cast and Crew

Ben King Jeff Hubbard Elaina Kostakis Ashley Sparks Herb Fynewever Michelle Milne Jenifer Alonzo Erik Morra Matt Sahr Tatsuya Aoyagi Sarah Sahr Temple Crocker Kirsten Prather Juanita Rockwell

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Mr. Ooolong Clod Lucinda Delilah Nutcracker Co-Director Costume Design Light Design Script, Tchotchkes, Co-Director Technical Acumento Polytropos Significant Props Publicity Ramaturgickal Advisor

Scott Alexander    (OPENING MUSICIAN)    Originally from St. Paul, Minnesota, Scott studied bassoon and lute at the Peabody Conservatory before going to UCLA.  There he earned a degree in ethnomusicology studying musical function, aesthetics, and performance contexts in various societies.  Still his focus remained primarily in his own culture, which is often overlooked as a culture altogether, yielding control and change to a manipulative industry.  Scott Alexander’s music recognizes the power and meaning of American musical traditions by maintaining an intelligible pop-sensibility but offers a new aesthetic and structure that celebrates everyday wandering thought processes--embracing mistakes, imperfection, and instability.  He is not a vampire.

Jenifer Alonzo    (COSTUME DESIGN)    is a multi-faceted theatre artist committed to new work and ensemble development.  She produced her Solo piece Flying Blind at Towson University.  She was a member of the writing and performance ensembles for becoming non grata, a multi-media production which won the KC/ACTF region V prize for Outstanding Production and Best New Play.  Jenifer has also worked as a performer with Denver's City Stage Ensemble and the film company Fool Moon Productions.  She was the Resident Costume Designer for the 2003 season at Theatre on the Hill and designed costumes for Susan Mele's Roxy Starr in 3D with Elvis at the Baltimore Theatre Project.

Tatsuya Aoyagi    (TECHNICAL ACUMENTO)    is a local performer a founding member of Naoko Maeshiba Performance Collective, one of the groups in the 2004 subscriber series at Baltimore Theater Project. NMPC will perform at Theatre Project in June 2004.  He is a sometimes teacher, director, technician, or whatever he is asked to be.  Tatsuya is not an American-Made product.

Jeff Hubbard    (CLOD)    is thrilled to be making his debut on the Baltimore stage in Pferdzwackür's Vampire Nutcracker.  He has recently appeared in Disputed Bones (Theater Avocaco), As You Like It, Tartuffe (both with National Players), and Ruddigore (Washington Savoyards).  He holds a BA in Music Theatre and Psychology from American University.  He'd like to thank his family and future wife Maria for their continued love and support.

Elaina Kostakis    (LUCINDA)    is a local Baltimore actress who has recently moved from New York. She has since appeared in productions at Audrey Herman Spotlighter's Theater (Laramie Project, Sly Fox).  This is Elaina's first experience at Theatre Project.  She extends her thanks to the creators, cast and crew of Pferdzwackür's Vampire Nutcracker for making work on the show a blast.  Elaina also sends her love to her husband Joe for his undying faith and support.

Ben King    (MR. OOOLONG)    makes his Baltimore debut here at Theatre Project.  Currently pursuing his MFA in Theatre at Towson University, he recently arrived from Atlanta, GA, where he played Jim Hawkins in Treasure Island and Chicklet in Psycho Beach Party.  Other favorite roles include El Gallo in The Fantasticks, Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream, and Konstantin in The Seagull.  He feels there's nothing like a fairytale macabre to lift those holiday blues.

Michelle Milne    (DIRECTOR)    has performed, directed and taught theatre in Baltimore, Portland (Oregon) and throughout Greater Indiana.  Most recently she directed the premiere of Flying Blind at Towson University, performed Lady Macbeth with Avalon Theatre of e/motion and performed The Next Step, an original piece, at 14K Cabaret.  She was a guest artist last summer for New World Players in Indiana, where she co-directed, produced and performed Ingrid in meFausto.  She is currently developing a one-woman show, and is working towards receiving her MFA from Towson University.

Erik Morra    (LIGHT DESIGN)    started working with light in 1997 as lightboard operator for the Delaware Theater Company.  As a freelance lighting designer, Erik has had the opportunity to work on high tech videos, dance shows, plays, operas, television commercials, big stage concerts and architecture.  His specialty is in color changing technology, fiber optic, LED, moving lights, dimming systems and controls.  Recently he became the Resident Lighting Desinger and Technical Director for Baltimore Theatre Project.

Juanita Rockwell    (RAMATURGICKAL ADVISOR)    is Artistic Director of Towson University's Masters of Fine Arts in Theatre, an interdisciplinary graduate program training the artist-as-producer of original work.   She is a director, writer, dramaturg, and producer of new works in the US and abroad.

Matt Sahr    (TCHOTCKE, SCRIPT)    has performed at Broom Street Theatre (Madison, WI), Cleveland Public Theatre (Cleveland, OH), Baltimore Theatre Project, The Polish Embassy, and Baltimore Creative Alliance.  For two years he toured as a manager with Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus, and then he was fired.  Previous playwriting includes SMILEY, produced as a stage reading at the Cleveland Public Theatre Festival of New Plays, and VOICE-IN-HEAD, a heaphone-guided futurismo which performed at Artscape 2003, and later won the "Audience Choice Spirit of the Fringe" award at the 2003 Minnesota Fringe Festival.

Sarah Sahr    (POLYTROPOS)    Sarah is currently a teacher of 8th Grade Language Arts at Aberdeen Middle School.  She has taught and managed classrooms in Ethiopia, Virginia, and Michigan.  She has also managed the school that travels with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, Blue Unit.  Presently, she is finishing her graduate work in TESL, and hopes to be working overseas in development and education soon.

Ashley Sparks    (DELILAH)    recently transplanted herself from Wilmington, NC to Baltimore.  In Wilmington she worked as an acting teacher and program director for an after-school arts program for at-risk children.  She has founded 2 long-form improv comedy troupes, directed children's shows, the V-Day Event and Vagina Monologues 2001-2003 in Wilmington.  She is a founding member of Brawdeville: Women's Performance Art, an ensemble creating original works.

We invite you to be   
Vampire-Victimized™

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THE PROBLEM. The audience pays the ticket price, and closes its eyes.  Plop ye down in the seats, wait to digest some good old-fashioned Satisfaction.  Mmmm-Mmmm Good Satisfaction. The actor would rather not just One-More-Time dollop out spoonfuls of cholesterol entertainment.  No.  We want to shoot stuff like Truth, Outrage, Pretentiousness, or Human Spirit into the audience.  We launch this stuff.  This stuff, the raisön detritus of our fevered Art-Art lofts up, over the footlights, through the mezzanine airspace, speeding down down down and right smack-dab into the gullet of the audience.  The Gullet.  Right into the wide digesto-satisfaction maw of the audience. We aimed for the ears, the heart, the head, the bowels, the brain, the spine, the id, the ego, the orgone-lymph.  We always miss.  It goes right into the maw.  Our most dangerous ideas do nothing at all except satisfy, satisfy, satisfy.  After all, a show is just a show, is just a thing to consume.

THE SOLUTION. This here is America.  That same audience of semi-coma digesters is, by day, a rowdy dangerous pack of hawkers, horse-traders and hustlers.  They got smarts up the wazoo, and disposable income.  That is the audience we want.  To engage them, to bring them to life, we need but do one, simple, All-American thing: put stuff on sale. You’re not serious unless you have something on sale.

My Sister is Whacko. Clod:  Here's my problem.  My sister is whacko.  Whack. Delilah:  Tell me more. Clod:  Lucinda.  She's my twin sister, but she doesn't look anything like me.   She is an addict.  It ruined her health, pushed everyone away.  Turned her complexion white. Delilah: What color was she before? Clod: You know.  Pink. Delilah: I see. Clod: My sister is addicted to enlightenment. Delilah: Enlightenment? Clod: Yeah.  Enlightenment.  She spent a year meditating in Tibet.  She spent two years with a shaman in Bali. Delilah: Sounds bad. Clod: Yeah.  She’s always looking for deeper meditation, consciousness.  It’s frightening.  So I figured she could use some help.  I looked around for twelve-step groups.  Do you know they don’t have one for Enlightenment Anonymous? Delilah: Imagine that.

My Sister is Afraid of the Dark. Clod:  My sister is crazy.  One morning she woke up, and she could not speak.  Could not even open her mouth.  But she went to the shopping mall.  She visited Gucci, and then Tiffany, Fendi, Prada and Hermes.  She returned with a magnificent wardrobe.  She could speak just fine, then.  She said, “I had a wonderful time shopping.”  My sister is afraid of the dark.  Every night she burns her clothes, so that the light from the fire will keep away whatever haunts her.  My sister is afraid of the dark.

Delilah Explains Everything. Delilah: Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named Lucinda, who lost her marbles.  One day day she woke up and she believed in vampires.  She had a fever.  She was sad, confused, angry, frightened, vicious, and bored.  And she had woozy spells that lasted all day.  You saw her.  She’s a basket case.  Anyways.  Lucinda had a brother.  Clod.  He was worried sick.  He wanted to save his sister, but nothing he tried had the slightest effect.  He used every medicine.  He read to her from holy books.  He turned on the television, and handed her the remote.  Nothing changed, Lucinda was still crazy.  So along comes a traveling show.  Starring yours truely.  And we figured, what the heck?  Why not put the two of them into our show?  Who doesn’t like a good Vampire story?  So we set up shop in the deepest, darkest swamp.

Mr. Ooolong indulges us. Mr. Ooolong:  Once upon a time There was a beatiful girl.  Lucinda.  Rare and delicate, a moody coquette, an eater of moon-pies.  Liquid is her life, nervous and deep, wrapped in caress of the softest porcelain skin.  (to Lucinda) How do you do, madame? Lucinda:  I am happy. Mr. Ooolong:  What do you want? Lucinda:  Happiness. Mr. Ooolong:  Where do you find happiness? Lucinda:  At my fingertips. Mr. Ooolong:  (to the audience)  Alas.  Night overtakes us.  She is bitten.  Somewehere deep in the dark swoops a murder of crows.

Post-Striptease Lucinda. Lucinda:  I guess I have what people call body image issues.  Ooops.  Can I say that?  I have a little problem.  You see.  You people are too fat.  I feed you candy.  You fat puddly toads, bobbing in cholesterol spooj.  Oh, I see some skinny ones.  You.  Ladies and gentlemen look at this girl.  Skinny as a rail.  Yeah.  The body is thin, but the spirit is fat.  I douse you.  I douse you with gasoline.  It only takes a spark.  I watch you burn with a polyunsaturated lipid goo gleam.  You people are sooooooo uhm, polyunsaturated.  You make me vomit.  I vomit candy and you.  You.  You eat it.

Ooolong hucks Pferdzwackür. Mr. Ooolong:  The good doctor Pferdzwackur thought that you might enjoy a Vampire Nutcracker Show.  Isn't that lovely?  Know this. The good doctor is the good doctor, who makes Pferdzwackur's Frabjous Elixir, a fantastic drinkee-tonic.  Pferdzwackur's Elixir.  The drink you drink.  You want.  The elixir, a potent juice.  It cures all.  It grooves.  My name is Mr. Ooolong.  I will be your guide on this journey. Trust me.

Movie Trailer Of sorts.  A five-minute montage from the show.  You can download it in these formats: Quicktime 5 . . . 12MB Windows Media 9 . . . 10MB RealMedia 9 . . . . 9MB You can also purchase a DVD of the whole show. Statistics Pferdzwackür's Vampire Nutcracker performed itself 8 times at Baltimore Theatre Project, from December 11 through 21, 2003.  A total of 349 people saw the show, paying an average of $10.73 per ticket.  These audience members bought $715.00 worth of Pferdzwackür tchotchke doobers, meaning that the average trinket-spend was just over $2.00 per person.  This figure does not include wine, beer, or soda sales, nor the t-shirt bumpersticker parapernalia available from Theatre Project. About The Show Lucinda believes in Vampires.  About Lucinda, everyone has got ideas and agendas.  Here is Delilah's take on the situation.  Lucinda has a twin brother, Clod, and he believes that his sister is very very sick.  He undertakes a mission to save his sister.  But Mr. Ooolong, who runs the show, has his own prescription.  Of course, the presciption for everything, in general, is to Drink Pferdzwackür's Elixir. But not everyone will listen to reason.  It all gets complicated by Lucinda's self-image issues.  Lucinda notwithstanding, the show is really about vampires, retail transactions, and victimization.  Honest.  We consumerism you. About Vampires We assume that Vampires don't do caskets, ancient tombs or bats anymore.  Nowadays, they live mostly in plastic toys.  Anything shiny, shrink-wrapped or advertised on television is suspect.  The vampires we hunt are media hypnotists.  The vampires we hunt are soaked in kerosene, bright burning, sexy, sizzling.  By releasing swarms of moths, we track the vampires back to their lairs.  The only way to be safe is to buy our products, and not ask too many questions. About Retail Transactions Americans are smart when they are shopping, and stupid when they are watching entertainment.  Yep.  We can go on and on about this.  The Vampire Nutcracker is a show where something is stalking us, and the thing to do is to stop the show, and put attractive merchandise on sale for the audience to peruse.  This smartens everybody up, and keeps away the bad spirits.  Christmas is the season of good cheer.  The Spirit of Christmas suffuses us.  All that capital changing hands is good for the soul. About Victimization Certain interests profit from new blood, no matter what.  This is not the prerogative of the talent, the dupe, or the customer, who might choose to declare, "Today, my blood shall not flow."  Not the case.  Old money is a force or nature. Anybody who is happier than you are is probably opressing you.  This is most obvious when somebody is richer, better educated, prettier, has better sex, knows funnier and more lively friends, and drives a nicer car than you do.  But it is equally true of a poor uneducated loser with no prospects, lots of debt, no leisure time, plenty of painful diseases, and no friends, but who is, nonetheless, happier than you are.  You are a victim, and Santa Claus cannot save you.  But we can.  Buy our Product. About Christmas The Vampire Nutcracker is a search through the lands of Bad Faith, Good Credit, Hoodwink Flim-Flam, the Mutual Confidence Racket, Karma Liquidators, Blue Market Goods, and the Land of Na.  These are the places that Santa will not stop.  We want you to know where you can hide, in case he comes looking for you. Press Release PDF We invite you to be    Vampire-Victimized™ Back to the Top.

Four Reviews of the Show.

Baltimore City Paper Polytropos.org Baltimore Sun Times Patuxent Press

John Barry Nathan Bruinooge Judy Rousuck Mike Giuliano

 

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Pferdzwackur's Vampire Nutcracker
City Paper Review
Theatre Project through Dec. 21
Review By John Barry
Link to article  Back to top.

Take it from a reviewer.  Some plays are meant to take notes at.  Others are not.  And at others, you find yourself hiding your notebook or just plain sitting on it, because anyone who sees you will know you're clueless.  Pferdzwackur's Vampire Nutcracker belongs to the last category.  It's not meant to be annotated or comprehended, just to be absorbed.  And if you take it in the right spirit (or have the right spirit forced upon you), it's a lot of fun.

Product placement.  That's it.  It's about product placement and how people are seduced by brand names, totems, tchotchkes, and all sorts of stuff.  And let's face it, when the commercialization of Christmas and all that comes up, you probably raise your eyes to the ceiling and think, Oh, yeah, I've got it.

But you don't!  You haven't got the slightest idea!  You are quiet, you are sitting down, you are feeling . . . sleepy, you want to buy something!  A simulacrum, or a small rubber ball, or a small jar of Pferdzwackur's Elixir, or a fur-lined notebook.  All of which vendors will be selling aggressively as you sit there watching something--you're not sure what--unfold onstage.

There is a mad maestro, a dazed dancer, a German scientist, a lot of tiny rubber people, a happiness ball, Tinkerbell, a large life-giving breathalizer, a vampire, and of course a nutcracker.  All that and more, being slammed around in a whirlwind of manically associative dialogue, improvisations, and aggressive audience baiting.

There's a plot, but since I've only got 425 words, forget about it.  It's basically an hour and a half of bombardment, which can leave the audience hypnotized and even product-friendly.  Playwright Matt Sahr clearly has an agenda, but he tries too hard to articulate it in the program notes. He doesn't need to: He's keyed into a strange sort of format that bedazzles and--at points--numbs the audience into complicity.

It's a marathon edition of Mad TV without the commercial breaks.  Extra credit goes to Ben King as Mr. Oolong (pictured), master of ceremonies.  In a remarkable performance, he manages to shift personae and accents without losing a beat as he leads the play through labyrinths of consumer consciousness and product placement.  Other cast members add an exuberance that is almost exhausting to watch.

And what does this have to do with Christmas?  Or vampires? Or nutcrackers?  Nothing.  It's all about Pferdzwackurs, and if you want to find out what the hell that is, you'll have to come see it.

 

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Pferdzwackür: Buy This Experience
Polytropos.org review
December 16, 2003
Link to Review  Back to top.

Consider yourself when you aim to be amused or otherwise moved by a performance.  You sit back.  The expression on your face says “entertain me.”  You are passive; you let it wash over you, whether the it is actors on the stage, or television characters, or whatever.  If you grow bored you can turn it off, or look down and examine your cuticles, or yawn loudly.

Now consider yourself facing a very different kind of performance: someone trying to sell you something.  Much is the same.  They clamor for your attention.  You may or may not be amused.  But the stakes are raised, because the seller, unlike an actor, has a very concrete goal in mind (for you to buy something) instead of the nebulous goal of entertaining you, and you have a concrete choice (whether to spend) instead of a nebulous one (whether to Be Entertained).

You could say that Pferdwackür’s Vampire Nutcracker is about taking these two types of performance and smashing them headlong into each other.  But the play is far more subtle and weird than a bland critique of American consumerism, or even a wry commentary on it, because the actors actually want you to buy things.  If you show up at any of the remaining performances this weekend — and you should — it’ll be fun, but it’ll also force you to choose whether to spend real money for a jar of Frabjous Elixir or a fuzzy knockoff of the Book of Secrets.  You will have to decide whether you are being entertained, or hucksterized, or both.  In a way I’m diluting the experience by telling you about it in advance, but I knew what was coming when I sat down and it was still a peculiar, engaging experience.

As to what the play is actual about, well, that’s hard to describe.  The gaudy but gorgeous costumes, the green plumes of Seussian trees, and the gimcrackery of the 200 Machine will all resonate with anyone familiar with Matt Sahr’s other work: the surreal dance of Voice in Head, perhaps, or the adventures of the Candyman and Mr. Pointy.  The plot, such as it is, revolves around Clod’s attempts to rescue his sister from a vampire that may or may not exist and may or may not be her real problem.  Four fine young actors flit deftly among ten or so different roles.  You’ll have to pay close attention to catch every nuance of the avalanche of words that the characters utter, but even when you find yourself completely lost to Sense, as it were, you can rest assured that there will always be Spectacle.  For sheer delight, it’s hard to match a play where both stage and audience get inundated in a sea of bouncy rubber balls.

I suppose it’s in keeping with the play that I pass along a Helpful Consumer Tip: if you’re only going to buy one thing, buy yourself a Rubber Voodoo Man.  The accompanying documentation is well worth the price all by itself.

So, to review: if you live in the area, you’re heading over to the Baltimore Theatre Project this weekend, Thursday-Saturday at 8:00, or Sunday at 3:00.  Have a fine time, and whatever you do, don’t open the box.

Posted by nate at December 16, 2003 12:19 PM

 

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Silliness takes bite out of 'Vampire Nutcracker'
Baltimore Sun Review
Link to review  Back to top.
A dash of voodoo, elixirs in production By J. Wynn Rousuck
Sun Theater Critic
Originally published December 17, 2003

In case the nonsense title with its unpronounceable first word wasn't sufficient warning, along came a box containing: a red-and-gold tinsel garland; a small round metal canister labeled "Simulacrum" and, in turn, containing a pink rubber "Voodoo Man" with a smiley face, two rubber balls with smiley faces, red tinsel and three pages of literature about the Voodoo Man (product specifications, a warning, etc.).

The box arrived at the office a few weeks ago.  Its contents were promotional material for the current show at the Theatre Project, a rambling, unfocused hodgepodge titled Pferdzwackur's Vampire Nutcracker and produced in cooperation with Towson University's graduate theater program.

The Voodoo Man turns out to be one of several items - including bottles of Pferdzwackur's Elixir (smells like cranberry juice), fake fur-covered diaries and little red boxes you are warned never to open - that the cast of Vampire Nutcracker sells at intervals throughout the show.  Each item costs $5, and the show apparently cannot continue until at least one audience member forks out a fiver.

What does this have to do with vampires or nutcrackers?  Well, as is explained on a page conveniently headed, "Everything is Explained," in the program: "MERCHANDISE IS THE MEDIUM."  So presumably, the show is intended to be a commentary on crass commercialism.  However, because the performances are so self-conscious and the show's plot is so ridiculous, the references to product placement and tie-in merchandise come across as just so much more silliness.

Although ostensibly the plot doesn't matter, but exists only to support the merchandise, here's an attempt at a summary.  A young woman named Lucinda (Elaina Kostakis as a gawky ballerina) has: 1) been bitten by a vampire, or 2) gone crazy, or 3) become addicted to addiction, or 4) all of the above.  Lucinda's brother, Clod (Jeff Hubbard), embarks on a quest to save her.  Helping him along the way are characters ranging from a witch (Ashley Sparks) to Drosselmeyer (Ben King), the clockmaker who created the nutcracker in E.T.A. Hoffman's classic story.

If neither the action nor the sales pitches make much sense, it's because the script (written by Matt Sahr) and direction (by Sahr and Michelle Milne) have the self-indulgent, formless feel of a game of make-believe played by children inventing as they go along.

Had Sahr and company spent half as much time creating theater as they did concocting numerous bottles of elixir, tins of voodoo dolls and accompanying literature, they might have come up with an amusing antidote to the often saccharine holiday shows.  Instead, the result is a work that quickly crosses the line from childlike to childish.

Copyright © 2003, The Baltimore Sun

 

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'Vampire Nutcracker'leaves shell of a mess
Patuxent Press review
By Mike Giuliano
12/17/03
Link to review.  Back to top.

You know you're in for a weird evening when the play sports a title like "Pferdzwackur's Vampire Nutcracker."  Although the show may be disappointing in all sorts of ways, it doesn't disappoint when it comes to living up to that title.

Created by Towson University's MFA Theatre program and staged at the Theatre Project, it's an example of pop cultural silliness taken to an extreme.  The cast of caricatures includes a vampire, a nutcracker and even Tinkerbelle.

When one character here describes the show as "a mess," you'll have no trouble agreeing.  Playwright Matt Sahr has a story of sorts about a fellow named Clod trying to save his twin sister, the ballerina Lucinda, from vampires.  He comes to believe that a voodoo-empowered nutcracker might be able to save her.

There definitely are satirical themes percolating.  The main target is how our consumer-oriented society turns everything into a commodity.  The product pitched most often by the five-member cast is Doctor Pferdzwackur's elixir, supposedly a cure-all medicine being offered at $5 per bottle.  (One audience member even forked over the five bucks.)

Television advertising, product placement and shopping malls also receive frequent mention in terms of how commerce rules our lives.

Storybook characters like Santa and vampires themselves become like merchandise in the marketplace.  It's a message that certainly resonates during the Christmas shopping season, though not much is gained by its repetition throughout the evening.

The show has its share of smile-inducing gaudy costumes, toy store props and goofy moments.  You might even find yourself applauding to bring Tinkerbelle back to life.  But if you're not in an especially silly mood, you may want to head to the shopping mall instead.

"Pferdzwackur's Vampire Nutcracker" runs through Sunday, Dec. 21 at the Theatre Project, at 45 W. Preston Street in Baltimore. Performances are Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 3 p.m. Tickets are $16, $11 for students, senior citizens and children. Call 410-752-8558.

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You have been warned.    

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